Stage fright

I spent the weekend with my folks at a convention for those in a specific branch of the art world. This would normally be a laid back affair where I'd be enjoying myself but relatively indifferent. The difference THIS time was that I got to actually speak. I wasn't the main speaker of course, but help him in a secondary roll. He was there to talk about his work and I acted as a kind of interviewer and a time keeper, but I also got to tell a few jokes of my own on him and that was so satisfying after all the tricks he's played on me over the years! And much to my surprise I got laughs at the jokes I made despite it's my Dad who's the funny one. We are both a little bit too easily distracted and tend to either hyper focus or go off on tangents so it was my job to help him cover the desired material somewhat fluidly and cue him during awkward silences or on forgotten details. Considering we had no time to practice and the format changed on us at the last minute, all went well. Many folks came up to me saying how much they enjoyed our presentation. While this flattered me greatly, I was a bit worried as I didn't want to take away from my dad's moment.

They say public speaking is more stressful that moving, job loss and divorce. Maybe it's my natural inclination to be a clown and make people laugh (runs in the family), but I don't find it all that hard. Sure it is a stressful (especially when we aren't prepared!) but it's far from the stress of some of life's other trials. Or maybe I've just reached a point in my life that I"m not so concerned about being a fool.

That night we sat at the Table of the president of the organization, and his family. We chatted a little but his anxiety was quite obvious as the other couple who was supposed to be sitting out our table were over 40 minutes late and when they showed up I thought it was going to be nice to have someone to talk to as the conversation around the table had been a bit forced especially over the loud music and no one was to my left and my dad was to my right. However the man who sat down next to me immediately started talking to the President and said nary a word to me. Okay, I don't expect people to kiss my hand and chat me up all night - though it would be awfully nice - but it's bad manners to ignore the person next to you and not say a word to them nor introduce themselves! I was snubbed by someone I didn't know and who'd never met me either! I guess I"m a real fuddy duddy when it comes to manners, etc. but I thought it was beyond the pale! Beyond being rude! I had even showered so I have no idea what the problem was! Why have manners and common courtesy disappeared? What happened to them? I had hoped to run into them the next day to say, "Hey it was such a pleasure sitting next to you last night, I had a really wonderful conversation with you." But alas, I didn't see him and I'm trying not to be a total dick in case these are people my folks have to deal with at some other point. But what a WANKER!

Other than that, we met lots of fantastic people who were extremely warm and for the first time in my experience with people in the North East, we found the entire staff of the Hyatt, in New Jersey on the Hudson over looking Manhattan, to be the friendliest and warmest people I've ever met in the service industry in my life outside of New Orleans! AND it didn't seem like it was forced! I was bowled over! I'm so used to surly workers in most businesses being impatient with you and annoyed that you've bothered them when they were at their job, yet their job is to be bothered by the likes of folks such as myself. Coming from New Orleans this was never clearer than when I first went to the Duane Reade Drug Stores in NYC. The folks behind the counter would frown at you and be quite chuffed that you were bothering them. Since they didn't want you to take the items out of the store for free and were actually standing at the registers, I was a little confused how I'd pissed them off so grandly. How dare I buy a toothbrush when they'd rather be on a break! The nerve of me! I have actually changed my route to work because of poor service. I was going to a Dunkin' Donuts that was on my usual way to work however the girl there who sees me 3-4 days a week for the last 5 months never acknowledges me and rarely get the order correct that I've ordered the exact same way for the previous 4 month. Plus they could be doing something behind the counter (often on a cell phone) and while I'm the only one there they never say, "Hey, I'll be right with you in just a moment." I worked bartending and service industry jobs for over 10 years and I know how hard it is, but I also know a snotty attitude and I've never given them a hard time always said hello. please and thank you.etc and left money in the tip cup. So I am now driving a different way to go to another D.Donuts where they are quicker (despite more people on line) and much more polite. When did I turn into such an old curmudgeon?? I'm like that weird old woman who lives with too many cats and threatens all the kids in the neighborhood and won't give them their ball back when it comes into my yard. Okay, I'm not done that YET, but I fear it is merely a matter of time.

I think the loss of civility and common courtesy is the sign of a society in decline. When we become a nation of selfish individuals who are only concerned for themselves and never for the community as a whole, we all suffer. Eventually something has to break. But I"ll save the discussion of politics for another time. And I need to educate myself more on what's really going on. Not just listen to some talking head's opinion and accept it as gospel which is the common trend of the day.

It's so time for me to move back to the south were people are so friendly you gotta pry them off with a crowbar half the time. Or maybe I need not to have such a big pole up my ass. Though we've all got pet peeves, right? What's yours?